American Prudential Capital, Inc.

In the book “Walk the Talk” by Eric Harvey and Al Lucia on page 11 you will find the following statement:

“Words to live by are just words unless you live by them.”

On the surface we all think that we “get it”, that we understand that simple statement. We think that it means something like, “good advice must be acted on to be of value.”
Actually, it doesn’t mean that at all. What it means is that our stated values have not become personal values until we act out of them when it would be easier and more comfortable to act differently.

The trouble is that the folks around us see our actions and not our intentions. Oh, the people who love us give us grace on our most selfish of days. But the majority of folks have nothing to evaluate us by but what they see.

On page 34 of the same little book you will see the following:
“We judge ourselves mostly by our intentions, but others judge us mostly by our actions.”
At this point many folks think I am talking about being “nicey nicey” all the time, saccharine sweet and full of flattery. Those manipulative behaviors are not of value to the giver and they rot in the gut of the receiver.

I am not talking about praising people for simply doing their jobs. I am talking about not beating them up when they make mistakes. In our company we value grace. As a result of this value, we do not fire folks for making honest mistakes. But beyond that, we do not beat them up the day after they make a single mistake.

Have you ever worked with or for a company that made it known to its employees what it took to get fired? Yes, I said FIRED not HIRED. In fact, if you are working with or for someone right now, do you know what it takes to get fired?

If you don’t know what can get you fired, I contend you do not know what that company truly values. Most of the time a company acts out of its true values when it fires folks.
Frequently, firings occur when the values of the employee do not line up with the values of the company. As the employee consistently acts out of his or her values the company builds a picture of the employee. If the actions, not the intentions, of the employee do not reflect the values of the company, a separation will usually follow.

You see, when people see what we DO they usually infer INTENTION. If what I am doing does not reflect my intentions, in other words, my values, then I should consider changing what I am doing.

So, back to our main point, “Words to live by are just words until you live by them.” If our words to live by include words like faith, love, perseverance, peace and grace, no one will be able to see these in our lives when we allow ourselves to take up an offence, become resentful, and begin to get revenge.

Our words are just words until we are actually offended and choose to act on one of those words and not on other words like resentment, resistance and revenge. Is it easy? No. Can it be done? That is the whole point.

Grace and Peace,
Brenda

Between 12 and 20…perhaps the eight most important years of each of our lives. Think back to when you were 12. In many cultures 12 is the year of passage into adulthood. We begin to see parents as people with flaws and we begin to see ourselves as members of a larger community.

Between twelve and twenty choices are made and directions taken that shape the rest of our lives. It is an incredibly important period of years, formative, brave, and hopeful. In those eight years, all things are possible. We BELIEVE in ourselves, in our family, in our country, in the limitless possibilities of the future.

It is during those most important eight years that we actually come together as persons, we get educated, trained, prepared, and become accountable for our destinies. Everything before 12 is a foundation. From 12 on we build on our foundation. Whether we build out of wood hay and stubble or out of solid stone is entirely up to us.

Fortunately for us as a nation 2012 comes at a time when our forefathers have laid a strong foundation in us. It is up to us what happens now in these next eight years between 2012 and 2020. Just as the years between 12 and 20 are the most significant years for an individual, the years between 2012 and 2020 will be the most significant for our nation.

So, as we pass into adulthood this year, hopefully we will learn that “there is no free lunch” and that we need to pay our own way. Hopefully, we will pick up the skills of managing a “household” budget and living within our means. Per chance we will develop listening skills and respect for our elders. But more than anything, may we learn to be leaders.

The world is in need of leaders. It is in need of a nation of leaders. It is time to mature as a nation and stop acting like small children who don’t know where their food comes from and who demand and get their wishes fulfilled by Santa Claus.

As a nation of grown up leaders to the world, we need to begin at home. We need to clean our own house and remove those influences that dull our senses and lull us into a kind of slavery to overlords who tell us what we want to hear but rarely tell us what we need to hear. This year is our year of passage into adulthood as a nation. May God give us the wisdom to make mature choices, to reject false promises and to inspire others to do the same.

The years between twelve and twenty stand to be the best years of our lives, rich and beautiful years. It is up to us. Others have gone before us and made it possible for this generation to stand here in 2012 poised to usher in the young adulthood of America. May we make this great host of witnesses proud of our choices, our character, and our courage.

Be wise, my friend.
Brenda